Monday, April 9, 2018

What if?


We’ve had really stinko weather around here for the past few months. Yesterday it was high winds and tomorrow we’re expecting snow. Snow for crying out loud. It’s  April. As I plunged my head under the shower this morning I thought to myself – it could be worse.

What if, while I was all soaped up, with dandruff shampoo burning into my scalp, the water pump in the basement shut off? Then the bathroom grew dark and something began scratching at the door and jiggling the latch? And the door began to cr-e-e-e-eak open? Poor, naked, water-less, shampoo covered me. There I'd be with only a pretty shower curtain between me and the evening headline, "Sasquatch Horrified When Confronting Woman with Burning Scalp Clad Only in Shower Curtain". That would be a lot worse than snow.  

Or how about this? I just got a free sample of some hair color ( a whole box!) and thought maybe I should try it. I haven’t colored my hair in years, but why not give it a go? What’s the worst that could happen? But then, I thought, what if I’m standing in the checkout line at the grocery later that day, feeling all young,trendy and winking at the bag boy, when suddenly a big chunk of my newly colored locks falls out right on top of my package of pork chops? Yeah, what if that happened? Almost as scary as naked me with a burning scalp and a monster at the door. No wonder the stuff was free.

Let’s leave scary behind and go look for happy. We have an old house. Always needs a repair or an update somewhere. It can affect your sanity and clean out your wallet.  But what if I bee-bop out to the mailbox tomorrow morning and find a certified letter inside? From Sweden. Addressed to my husband. Curious, we open it and find some lovely, royal looking stationary with a message stating that he’s the long lost heir to the fortune of Prince Sven Lots-a-Dough? Worth? Eleven million krona or, in American dollars, eleven million dollars. And it’s legit. I’d say we’d get a little happy over that and the old house would, too. 

And what if this were true? I’ve been healthy all my life. My husband of 51 years is, too. Our children and grandchildren share their lives with us and love us. What if I have a large circle of friends and a great writers group. I’ve never gone a day hungry, my closet is bursting with clothes and I have a cozy bed every night. What if that? Maybe I’ll count those all as blessings and thumb my nose at monsters, the possibility of going bald and the impossibility of being married to the heir of a Swedish prince’s fortune.

I think that’s what I’ll do. How about you, do you have a “what if” or two in your life?

Image: Free Digital Photos   

4 comments:

  1. You have this wonderful way of making me laugh, Susan! Thanks for the chuckles and perspective check. :) When you do inherit those riches, will you fly all your blogging friends over to see you at the castle?

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    1. Why, yes, Karen. What an excellent use of the funds! =0)

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  2. Never, ever confess that you've been married 51 years, Sue.
    You look like you're about 59.

    Funny post. Erma Bombeck would be proud. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. I was a mere child when I married, Jen. LOL But thank you for the advise!

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