So we decided between ourselves to go out on Black Friday. A date – kind of. Searching for “guy” gifts and hoping we wouldn’t have to go to the next county to get in line at the checkout.
Now let me tell you a bit about the first place we hit, Harbor Freight. The scent of it smacks you in the kisser when you waltz through the door. It sends most men into a swoon and most women looking to get out fast. I’m talking metal shavings, concrete floor, oil can and hot off the presses sale flyer kind of odors. I have to mentally prep each time we visit.
Once inside, he went his way and I went mine. I will say that this store is great when it comes to freebies. It’s little stuff but good stuff and with coupon in hand you’re likely to score a cool item or two. Like flashlights, screwdriver sets, and zippy little tape measures.
And then there are the slingshots.
Now what, you say? That’s where this wandering woman wound up last Friday. Gazing in amazement at a display of Daisy metal and rubber slingshots. Wow, I thought. These are allowed? And just at that instant I also thought of King David. You know, the kid who killed Goliath. Before he was king, of course. If he’d been standing beside me, he’d have been doing the “Gonna Gettum” happy dance. This slingshot was a thing of beauty. Black and yellow sitting there in its bubble package like an angry wasp. Big, honking rubber strap with a pad at the end to hold Philistine hammering rocks. Whew.
“Can I have it, Aunt Sue? Please? Please?”
Aunt Sue groans.
And then I glanced further down the shelf and what did I see? Blood pressure cuffs. Little ones. The kind you can carry with you and will fit on your wrist. The kind that David’s mother might have found useful. Poor woman.
“David! Enough with the quails already. Put. Down. The. Slingshot."
“I mean it. Your dad brought me six yesterday and now there are ten more plopped on the table this morning. It’s not like I can freeze them for later or something.”
And then she remembers the time he “accidentally” clonked his brother in the knee out in the sheep pen putting him out of commission for a week. She made David, only six, take Jeb’s place that week as punishment. Poor sheep.
And on it went until the Philistine’s became a global threat increasing his mother’s need for that nifty blood pressure wrist thingy. And finally David sneaked out on her one morning to make history. If only he’d had that awesome Daisy slingshot the whole of the Philistine army might have gone down.
Anyway. These are the crazy thoughts that a Black Friday excursion can bring about when a woman is faced with slingshots and blood pressure apparatus in a “guy” store.
We got out of there with a good many gift items. But not the slingshot. Instead I snagged that blood pressure cuff. Anybody know David’s mom’s address?
Image: Free Digital Photos