Here
I go again – observing things. Or imagining them. Someone who lives in such a
narrowly defined space does that a lot (two words – grammar gurus take
note).
So
. . .
While
I was bebopping down the grocery store aisle one day last week I noticed a bag
of bread on the floor. That’s happened
to you, right? Most people ignore such fallen goods. Not me. I made haste to
get over to the fallen bag because I just know that somehow – this time – bells
and whistles will go off. Big time. That’s right. For years now a new game show
has been in development whereby grocery shoppers are observed by hidden camera –
and – the kind soul that saves a fallen food item and returns it to its proper
shelf Wins. Ta Da!
As
I approach the bagged bread there’s a hitch in my step. Uh oh. How does my hair
look? I give my head a little toss and finger comb it whilst I steer my cart
with one hand. Not so easy as I’ve positioned
all the meat (including a small package of hamburger – the food of kings these
days) on one side of the cart causing it to slew slightly to the left as I
walk. But I walk on.
No
one else seems to notice the bread until – I spot her. Another potential gamer
coming at me from the other end of the aisle. Yeah – she’s looking all un-
concerned about that bread – but I see the glint in her eye. And she sees the
glint in mine. Okay lady, the race is on.
I’m at the far end of the aisle by the chips and she’s honing in on the
Nutella and jam shelf thirty yards away. Smack between us is bread and the “fallen
loaf” as I’m now beginning to think of it.
I
lose all sense of hair and makeup at that point. I grip the cart with both
hands and with studied nonchalance put on some speed. I notice the relative
lightness of the other contenders cart and quicken my step even more. Past rye,
past mult-grain and then I’m closing in on pumpernickel which is on the bottom
shelf near my prize. I fancy some of the more enterprising loaves to be
cheering us on. Now I’ve got a clear shot and I go in for the kill. So does
she. Then I glance up to see my opponent up close and personal. Our carts clink
and I know it’s now or never.
“Oh
my goodness,” I say sweetly. “Why hasn’t someone picked this up?” It only takes
me a nano second to swoop low and snatch the two for a dollar white loaf. I hear
it sigh as I grin at the other woman, whose face is a mask of fury. I replace the
loaf, pat it, and turn. That camera has to be around here somewhere – maybe in pretzels
on the opposite side of the aisle. I smile at them and wink.
My
worthy opponent walks off in a huff as I wait for the bells and whistles. But,
alas, I sadly conclude as I stand there that, as in so many other situations in
the world of gaming, the Supermarket Game of the Fallen has apparently not yet
been perfected. I realize I’ll just have to keep looking for the Prize Patrol
balloons until those gaming people get their act together.
Yup,
my world is small. But thank God for imagination.
Image:
KRAKRATHHOT Free Digital
Photos
Oh, Sue... we, your loyal fans, will give you all the bells and whistles you want until the Supermarket Game of the Fallen gets its act together. Loved your article (especially the comment about the two words "a lot". I have that one down).
ReplyDeleteThanks, Cindy! I'll share my winnings with my loyal blog readers. But go on with your lives for now. Could be a while. Sending a smooch. =0)
DeleteYou Crack me up! I love your brain!
ReplyDeleteAnd I have so little of it left, Kate. =0)
DeleteExcellent! Just got home from the grocery store a bit ago and played my own version of the game. Alas, it was not prize patrol day at my store either. But we mustn't give up hope. Tomorrow is another day! :)
ReplyDeleteYou are always so positive, Karen. Love it. Keep an eye out for those PP balloon!
Delete