Monday, May 4, 2015

Leave Something For the Elves




I fell in love with elves for the first time, as a five year old, when I saw Bashful in the movie Snow White. Later in life I graduated to Tolkien’s wood elves in his Lord of the Rings trilogy. But things really got going when the LOTR movies came out and Orlando Bloom (be still my heart)  played the gorgeous elf Legalos. Oh my. I was really all about elves then. Which brings me to . . .

Raking the yard. Hang on – you’ll see the connection in a minute or less.

Our  “yard” is acres. Three of them and all lumpy bumpy and full of trees. We get a lot of the leaves from those trees raked up in the fall, but spring shows us all the places where the winter winds come and wedge them under saplings, bushes and the slide on the swing set. So, I’m out there the other day, rake in hand (gloves on hands) and it occurs to me as I’m cutting a wide swath that I may be disturbing some homes.

What, you say? Like for ants, spiders and chipmunks? No, silly, elves. You see they love cozy little piles of leaves. They use them for garments (elf lederhosen), patio sets, drapes and, when mixed with mud, walls for their homes. And here I am raking all that away.

Elves everywhere become outraged by such behavior. They have rallies in their town halls way down under the forsythia bush where rakes can’t reach. Well, except for Orlando Bloom type elves. They live in sequestered glades and you can never find them no  matter how rigorously you rake. Dang! Anyway, these town hall meetings of the smaller species can get quite violent. You’ll see the result of that violence when you think the wind is stirring those leaves. It’s actually an elf uprising and there’s only one thing to do . . . stop raking immediately.

The thing is - elves lives matter (to coin a phrase) and it’s up to us, the big people, to do right by them. So – the next time you’re in your own yard raking like a demon driven overlord, remember this. If you get carried away and destroy every last crumbled brown leaf in  your yard, you are doing a great injustice to the elf population. You may even rate a target on your back for a deadly arrow like the one in the picture up there. But don’t fret. You can become a better person this spring. Simply ignore all leaves you cannot easily reach with your weapon – the rake. I promise that a righteous feeling will rise  up in your soul even in the face of scowling neighbors. Ignore them. However, on the off chance that one of them dares ask why you didn’t totally clean up your yard this year just tell them this . . .

“I always leave something for the elves.” Legalos and I will stand in solidarity with  you. 

I tell you, I’ll make up some humdinger stories to get out of raking. I think I’ll go in search of sequestered glades instead. Join me?



Image: Courtesy of quiver.com 

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