Weird Things We Do

Yesterday I popped a frozen stick of butter into the microwave to melt it so I could mix it with brown sugar for my monkey pull apart sticky buns. Some of the butter stuck to the wrapper so I turned and looked at Agnes. She must have known what I was thinking because she “meowed” and walked over. I held the wrapper taught, bent down, and let her lick the excess butter off. I’ve always done this for our dogs and cats but suddenly I wondered if an observer would think it odd. Then, just like in those Prego commercials where bad choices are outted, my mind wandered off to other weird things people do.

My husband can’t suck on a hard candy. Nope, he pops a peppermint into his mouth where it sits for about two seconds and then he starts to crunch. I’ve chastised him for this to no avail. I mean, it sounds like his teeth are breaking. One of our granddaughters does the same thing and I once had a boss who did that, too. What’s with these people?

I have a relative, who, when contemplating a tough problem, like the answer to a Trivial Pursuit question, will suddenly seem to go off into another world. The manifestation of that is her rolling eyes. It’s as though she’s consulting ancient manuscripts, early television, and her own memory bank and perusing them all for the solution. You can’t talk to her when her eyeballs are reeling for fear she might either pass out or lunge at you. Kind of scary. She usually gets the right answer, too.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know I’m a licker. A serving spoon crusted with little bits of a delicious casserole, a beater full of whipped cream or frosting – they don’t have a prayer. The will be licked clean – um – when nobody is looking, of course. And after I’ve beaten back a couple of grand kids. “Go watch Dora! Grandma’s real busy.”

I’ve drawn a few conclusions from this mental exercise.

Critters love butter and if I can give them some, I will.

Some people are crunchers. The rest of us are suckers.

Magic eyeballs are so cool! I want some.

I may need help – “Hello, my name is Susan and I’m a licker.” Call me if you know someone.

How about you? Care to share?

 Image: Maggie Smith                                                               Free Digital Photos