Monday, April 27, 2015

Shoo Dragon!

Around here the dragon’s tail of winter is just now pulling away, leaving in its wake a large swath of mixed precipitation, chilly mornings, yet a few more snow flurries and golf ball size hail in some parts. But the monster is leaving, back up to the mountain where Old Man Winter will groom the beast for the upcoming season. That dragon casts a long shadow, but there are a few ways to hurry it on its way.

First you must go shopping for new and colorful clothes. That’s right. You have my permission to take advantage of all those coupons that have been coming in the mail since Valentine’s Day. Touting spring they were and I’m off this week with a $10 gift card from Kohl’s and a 30% off from their flyer,too. I’ll only look at items in coral, lime or bright yellow. No more black and blue and burnt orange. No siree.

Okay, the next thing to do is buy ice cream. I know, I know. It’s a bit early for that. But jumping the gun on cones, sundaes and malted milks really gives the final slap to Dimwit the Dragon’s tail. And don’t you dare let him have a slurp of your strawberry shake. The spring people will consider that fraternizing with the enemy so watch it.

Then you must begin the hunt for your summer things. This includes the silk daffodils, the cute café curtains, saucy beach towels and khaki shorts. Ew, that last one is tough. My lily white stems aren’t fit to be seen yet, but shaking out the shorts is a springtime, time- honored ritual that brings the sun out from behind the clouds. The sun that’s going to tan you. Plus, every diet trend on every magazine at every checkout counter at every retailer in the county will pop out at you while you’re buying your ice cream. Sorry, shouldn’t have mentioned that. Pay no attention to them!

Finally – you must go outside. Pick up the rake, the hoe, the garden gloves. This is your armor against the  hale, wind and fire (from all those leaves  you’ll be burning). Shape up the world around you and put Dimwit in his place. He’ll just have to wait it out – through all the lawn mowing, the luscious ripe tomatoes, the soggy beach towels and butter pecan ice cream. He can pout from his mountain top while he re-groups with Old Man Winter. Good riddance for a while.

So – fake it until  Spring makes it. You won’t be sorry.   

Image: Free Digital Photos

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